


Ripples from a Stone

by WitchyBee



Series: Esme Lavellan Oneshots [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Dreams, F/M, Romance, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4908103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyBee/pseuds/WitchyBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Solas will not talk to her, then he will listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ripples from a Stone

Esme sat alone on a large rock in Crestwood, idly skipping small stones into the lake. This was a dream. She knew it must be because she had two arms again. A dream shaped from memory. Not a good memory, all things considered, but the Veil was thin here, which meant spirits had plenty to reflect in the Fade.

“Two years may not seem like much time from your perspective, but it’s a lot for me,“ she said aloud, addressing an unseen figure. “I barely got a word in the last time we spoke. Granted, I had so many questions, like you knew I would. You were counting on that, weren’t you? Bastard.”

The insult fell flat, lacking any trace of real venom. Beyond anger–and oh yes, there had been anger enough to shake the Veil–she's found only forgiveness and a steadfast determination to redeem the one she loved, her vhenan.

“Now I am going to talk and you are going to listen.” She picked up a smooth stone and threw it, watching as it skipped across the lake five times before vanishing beneath the surface.

Esme was reminded of hot summers in the Free Marches when her clan would camp beside a fresh water source, ensuring the halla could keep themselves hydrated and granting everyone relief from the heat. Children spent the long days swimming and holding contests to determine who among them could skip a stone the farthest.

That all felt like lifetime ago, when her path had been clear and they still lived outside of her memories. Now her clan was dead, save for perhaps a handful of scattered survivors who would likely name Esme harellan were she to seek them out barefaced with unpleasant truth on her lips and her heart freely given to the Dread Wolf.

She dismissed the idea, turning her mind away from the unknowable future back to the past.

“Did you know the Anchor would eventually get worse, all that time we were together? Or was it an unintended consequence of the orb breaking?” She shook her head, not surprised when no one answerd. “It’s always unintended consequences with you, Solas.”

Somewhere in the shadows, the Dread Wolf listened intently to her every word, brokenhearted, and too much of a coward to face Esme directly but too selfish to deny himself the sight of her. The sound of her voice.

“You probably heard the Inquisition disbanded,” Esme continued their one-sided conversation. “It was hard to tear down everything we’d built, but it had been corrupted. And I don’t only mean the spies in our ranks. You were right about organizations and power; it was just a matter of time. I hate when you’re right.”

Another stone sent ripples through the placid water.

“I’m still trying to figure out who I am without being Inquisitor. I barely recognize myself anymore,” Esme admitted. “Was it like that for you, being Solas instead of Fen'Harel? Did it feel like your own skin was a disguise, or was it liberating? I don’t believe for a second that I fell in love with a lie.”

As per usual, he offered no response.

“All right, I’ve changed my mind. I just wish you would talk to me, vhenan.” Her voice sounded much smaller than she’d meant it to. “I know you’re afraid to let yourself come any closer; I saw that look in your eyes every day for more than a year. But this is cruel. For both of us.”

One last stone hit the surface with more force than necessary and immediately sunk to the bottom. Esme stood up.

“Var lath vir suledin,” she declared with all the conviction of an irrefutable certainty. “It’s time for me to wake up.”

She was gone, leaving Solas achingly alone once more.


End file.
